


ache so good

by navyhurricane



Series: make it work [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Awkward Tension, Blood and Injury, Bombs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon-Typical Violence, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Missions Gone Wrong, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Pidge | Katie Holt is a Good Friend, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Rescue Missions, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:03:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navyhurricane/pseuds/navyhurricane
Summary: Keith has noticed this hurt in his chest since he and Lance hooked up. They haven't talked since, but when they finally get the chance their lives are on the line. Even when the stakes are dangerously high, Keith never knew it could ache so good...





	ache so good

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with lorde and girl in red on a loop
> 
> also rated mature for the paragraph of porn at the beginning - if you want to skip it, literally just don't read the italicized paragraph and you'll be okay !!!
> 
> also i barely proofread this so lemme know if there’s mistakes because there definitely is lol

   Keith hacks the arm off of the training bot and kicks it squarely in the chest, sending it crashing to the floor. He watches breathlessly as it dissolves into blue particles, Altean Castle shades, and allows his Bayard to shrink back into it’s smaller form. The training room is suddenly quiet, and Keith wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, grimacing at the taste of his own sweat and leather. 

He goes to pull it off with his teeth because his fingers are too shaky with leftover adrenaline, but just as he bites and pulls on the leather a dark memory flashes through his mind—

_Keith scissors his fingers, stroking at Lance’s stretched rim with his thumb. He absently realizes that he still has his gloves on, and used his teeth to pull his glove off his free hand. Lance stares at him, wide eyed and seemingly shocked, but his dick talks for him and spurts out a couple drops of pre, enough to make a puddle against his lower abdomen—_

“ _Fuck—_ “ Keith hurls his glove away and glares at it as it smacks the wall and bounces off lightly. It lays motionless on the floor, like the stupid piece of leather that it is, and in a little fit of anger, Keith peels off the second one and throws it at the floor. He lifts his foot to dig his heel into it, but stops when the door to the training deck slides open.

His head whips up to meet Pidge’s gaze, who is dressed in standard workout attire. She holds her Bayard loosely in her hand, and upon finding Keith standing with one raised foot and a furious expression, Keith sees her try not to break down in giggles.

“What are you doing?”

Keith grapples for an explanation, for something that could explain his frustration, his anger, his pain—

“Uh...”

Nothing.

Pidge nods at his not-answer and walks into the room, allowing the door to slide shut behind her. Her Bayard dematerializes, and she stands in front of Keith openly, staring right at him. It feels like she’s disecting him with her eyes, taking Keith apart so she can study him.

Keith squirms under her gaze, and after a hot minute, she sighs before sitting down on the floor, cross legged, and pats the floor in front of her. “Sit down. You look like you’re gonna fall over any second anyways, and your body is too-much-percent muscle mass for me to catch.”

Keith snorts, and nearly collapses on the floor in front of Pidge. He picks up his one glove, rubbing gently over the smooth inside. He sighs softly, and Pidge mirrors it.

“What’s wrong, Keith? You’ve been...off the past couple of days. Something’s up.” Keith shrugs, and presses his tongue into his cheek. He fiddles with his glove, blatantly avoiding his friends eyes. It ends up with Pidge huffing at him and snatching the glove out of his hand. Keith protests and reaches for it, but Pidge just leans back and expertly dodges his efforts.

She sticks her tongue out at him. “I’ll give it back when you tell me what’s up. Did Shiro deepfreeze your underwear again? Or maybe Lance—“

“Pidge!”

She raises a brow. “So your emo slump involves Lance? I thought you and him were on good terms.”

Keith settles back, empty fingers picking at the seamless metal floor. He sighs again, and this time he physically deflates. Pidge whistles lowly, and drops her teasing facade. “That bad?”

Keith nods, and his chest thrums. His eyes burn, and fuck, he specifically came to the training floor so that he wouldn’t have to deal with feeling like shit. “I’ll spare you the gory details—“

“Thank you.”

“—But basically, it was great, amazing even... and then I just left.”

“You what.”

“I le—“

Pidge presses one finger on Keith’s mouth, cutting him off. “Yeah, yeah, I heard you, you gay disaster, and what the fuck? You just left? Why?”

Keith scowls, and looks off to the side where he threw his other glove. He shifts in place, skin almost buzzing with nerves. “I dunno...”

Podge waits, patient for her friend, and Keith is grateful. He’s not good with words, he muses to himself as he scratches at his damp hair. Eugh, shower time after this.

“I guess... I guess I... I don’t know!” Keith stands up, arms crossed and pacing quickly in front of Pidge. She watches him, silent. “Maybe it was because h-he hasn’t really hooked up before, or because it was too much after or because I-“

Pidge’s face is a blanket of openness as Keith looks to her for validation. “Because you what, Keith?”

Keith grits his teeth, fists clenching. He growls to himself before murmuring out loud: “...Because I was scared...”

Silence falls over the training room. Keith reaches up again and tangles his fingers in his hair, agitated. He barely notices when Pidge stands, cautiously placing a hand on his forearm. Keith’s breath comes out in a shudder as his stomach rolls. He feels as though the giant room is closing in on him.

“Keith, breathe.”

Forcing himself, Keith draws air into his lungs. The spots in his vision tell him he’s panicking, and the hand on his skin tells him he’s with someone, that that someone is Pidge, and that they’re in the training room. Keith breathes deeper. He knows that he’s okay, he just needs to calm down.

“Are you alright?” Pidge’s hazel gaze burns into his, worry shining in them. Keith nods, and places his hand on Pidge’s.

“Yeah... I think so...” Keith blows out a breath and purses his lips. He hasn’t realized how much all of this was actually getting to him; he had been pushing it down with training and Paladin duties. The last planet they had visited demanded that they have a feast, so Keith was stuck sitting across from Lance for an entire varga, both of them painfully silent. When the dinner was over and they had barely touched their food, both Paladins had sprung from their seats and make a break for the docking bays. It had been extremely painful, to say the least.

Keith bites his lip. “I have to talk to him, don’t I?”

Pidge offers a sympathetic smile, and pats him gently on the arm. “You’ve got this, dude. Just be yourself. And don’t insult each other. And definitely don’t do the do again until you figure this out.”

Keith groans loudly at the ceiling and playfully shoves at her shoulder, almost knocking the Green Paladin off her feet with the force. She pushes him back, and soon it’s a tussling war, both of them snickering and clasping their hands around the others forearms. It ends quickly, with Pidge climbing on his back and directing him to the kitchen with a glove in front of his face like a donkey, but it’s enough to deter any of the tension Keith carried when he originally came into the training room.

            ---

“—Pidge, you will stay in Green and keep a constant scan for biorhythms in action. Hunk and Shiro will distract the automated guards until Keith and Lance—“

“What?!”

Allura stops, cutoff by Lance’s outburst. She raises one brow at the Blue Paladin, who had been standing silently beside Pidge until now. Lance’s face is painted in terror, Keith notes, but he seems to school his expression into something more serious. 

   “Did you have something to add, Lance?”

   Lance opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again to say, “I just think that I should help Hunk distract the guards. Red is fast to get in and out and Shiro — sorry, man — knows the general layout of a Galra ship.”

   Keith watches as Allura thinks the change over, but his gaze wanders back to Lance again. He can’t gelp but realize how Lance never said his name. In fact, Lance never even looked in his direction. his eyes never left the floor by Allura's feet, and he's turned slightly away from Keith. It hurts more than Keith thinks it should, those simple little things. 

   Nobody says anything, even though Keith's mind is screaming at him, _say something! Tell him his plan is good! Say something!_

   “Nevermind, it was a bad idea anywa—“

   “No, that would work better, I believe.” Allura smiles at Lance and nods. Lance smiles back, and Keith holds on for just a second longer, just to see him smile even though it isn't directed anywhere at him- “Very good, Lance. Let’s do that. Paladins, to your Lions.”

            ---

 

   Keith makes a subtle face as Coran slides yet another bowl of suspicious goo in front of him. Keith carefully lifts his spoon and takes a scoop, hesitating before putting it in his mouth. 

   “That’s it, Number Four! As soon as you finish that helping, take a quick lap in the hallways and come back so we can measure your stats!” Coran stands nearby, arms crossed behind him and dreadfully cheerful for an early morning. The Altean and Hunk had been in the kitchen since the early hours, experimenting with different ingredients to give a burst of energy, like Redbull mixed with Monster. Pidge is just sitting in the corner, tapping away at her computer and completely ignoring the events occurring until she's needed. 

   “Are you sure this one is safe, Coran?” Keith turns his spoon upside down; the goo that is stuck in his spoon doesn’t budge. Keith eyes it with more caution as he wiggles the spoon, and the red substance still doesn’t move. it reminds him of putty. 

   “Well, my young Paladin, we never know what may be safe and what may be dangerous. The only way to find out is through the adventure of discovery, and even then we could never find it!”

   “So you don’t know?”

   Hunk swoops in when Keith takes another spoonful, snatching the bowl away and ushering Keith towards the door. “It doesn’t matter, just go for a run! Pidge will watch the cameras to make sure you don’t collapse anywhere and start turning into a Keith-sicle.”

   Keith snorts, taking the reference good mannerly as he jogs towards the door. The last bowl of super-goo had reacted badly with Keith’s Galra DNA, and had started the process of freezing him solid from the inside out. The crew had noticed the symptoms when Keith’s fingertips had turned blue, and then ice actually started forming on his nail beds. It was... an experience, to say the least.

   “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

   Keith turns towards the kitchen door just as he hears the door slide open, assuming that it’s his own presence activating it, but when he slams into another body, he stumbles, taking them down with him. 

   “Jesus...” Keith freezes upon hearing the voice below him, and he pushes himself up with his hands between Lance’s body and his arms. Keith opens his mouth at a complete loss for words as Lance realizes just exactly who is on top of him. All Keith can think about is how Lance smells like something savoury, and all Keith can see is the way that Lance looks up into his gaze, confused and endearing. It doesn’t last long.

   Keith’s chest tightens as Lance’s blue eyes harden and he gets shoved off at the same he scrambles back, shooting awkwardly to his feet and running out of the room, head ducked and eyes burning. His shoulders sting where Lance touched them, and he doesn’t come back to the kitchen, speaking a quick apology to Pidge, Hunk, and Coran afterwards and told them that the goo made his heart rate increase, so that might have helped his running performance. Keith doesn’t know if the lie was in what he told his friends, or if it was in how he interpreted his heartbeats in himself. 

 

            --- 

 

   “Keith. Hold on.”

   Keith froze, those simple words making his blood run cold in ways that it shouldn’t. He turns, watching as Shiro approaches him where they stand in Red’s hangar. Keith has literally just stepped off the platform and was completely prepared for a shower after the successful mission when Shiro walked in.

   “What’s up?” Keith pulls his helmet off, cringing at the way his hair slicks up with it. He tries to smooth it down, but it doesn’t work and he just accepts it with a sigh. 

   Shiro moves just to the side of him, not quite facing him fully, but still enough to make eye contact. “I know you don’t like talking about...things, so i’m going to be blunt.”

   Keith raises a brow, not exactly sure what he should be expecting. Is Shiro gonna chew him out for doing that risky maneuver in Red today? Or maybe Keith needs to calm down when he's snapping orders to him teammates; he knows he isn't the nicest person normally, and in the heat of battle-

   "What's going on between you and Lance?" 

   Oh _fuck_ no.

   "What do you mean? There's noting 'going on' between us." Keith raises his fingers in quotation marks before trying to move around Shiro. "I'm gonna go sho-"

   "Keith. Don't avoid the obvious." 

   Keith stops, barely an inch forward from his spot. He sighs, squeezing the place between his eyes with his fingers before dropping his hand and turning to the Black Paladin. "Fine. You want me to be blunt? I fucked up. I made a mistake, a stupid lapse in judgement or something because I thought that I could ignore it, but apparently I couldn't and now I've gone and fucked everything up. That's what's 'going on' between me and him, Shiro. Me, being a fuckup because I can't get a grasp on my own feelings-!" Keith almost throws his helmet at the ground, but only the respect he has for Red and her Paladin past stops him. He settles for fisting and pulling his own hair instead, because he just needs to feel something other than the growing bubbles in his chest and the aching thrum of his heart.

   "I fucked up, Shiro, and I don't know how to fix it..." Keith says softly, raising his eyes to meet the empathetic ones of his brother. "I just want things to go back to the way they were..."

   Keith allows himself to be pulled against Shiro's chest, releasing the breath he had been holding since the start of their conversation. Shiro just rubs his back, hand catching on the Paladin armour awkwardly but he doesn't stop the movement. Keith hears him blow out a breath of his own. "Okay, it's okay, Keith. We'll think of something. It's okay." Keith just nods, taking as much comfort as he can in the arms of his brother. They can figure this out. Maybe they - he - can make it better. Maybe it'll be okay. 

 

            ---

 

The next time that Keith sees Lance is in the middle of the night, when he had spent hours pouring over an apology for Lance, a way to explain to him how he feels, and how he could fix this. He had talked it over with Shiro for almost an hour, both of them brainstorming ways he could make it work. He had given up after he felt the urge to punch the wall, already uncomfortable with one hand bare because he can’t find the glove that he threw. Keith decided to go for a walk and maybe find something to drink before bed. Shiro looked exhausted anyways, and he didn't want to keep him up any longer. Keith just didn’t expect to meet up with the very boy he had been stressing over so soon.

“Hey,” Keith says, surprised. Lance jerks his head up from the table where it was laying. The red mark on his forehead would be adorable to him if not for how Lance looked otherwise; the poor boy could have given Shiro during exam week a run for his money, what with bloodshot eyes, pale cheeks, and dark circles. Keith frowns, his concern for his teammate overshadowing the anxiety that claws up at his heart and throat. He pulls out a chair across from Lance, forgetting about his thirst.

Keith hesitates when Lance drops his head back down, his tan hands flopping on the table mere inches from Keith’s. The space tingles, and Keith wonders if he could pass it off as an accident if he moved them closer. This is the longest he's been in a room alone with Lance since That Night. “What’s up with you?”

Lance shifts, and doesn’t give Keith a verbal response. He does, however, lift his hand and wave it around a couple times. Keith’s frown deepens. He thought that his psych was messed and he was getting support from various people with it... has Lance kept his thoughts and feelings to himself since that night? Keith was the one to leave him, so that must have hurt. What did lance think about that and this? What is going on inside his head? Keith knows that Lance is the type to overthink himself into a fit. 

   When Lance puts his arm back down, Keith sets his cupped hand just above his wrist. “Lance. Seriously. Are you alright?”

“I dunno, are you?” Lance moves in place again, but doesn’t dislodge Keith’s hand even as he sends a forlorn glance at it. Keith doesn’t think he was meant to see the way Lance’s lip wobbled as his blue eyes trailed up Keith’s arm and to his face; they held Keith’s gaze for a split second before lowering. “How have you been, Keith? Haven't seen you around the Castle for a while, been busy avoiding me?"

   Keith looks down at the table as silence falls over the kitchen once again. Keith swears Lance is able to hear his heartbeat, and he still hasn't moved Keith's hand off of his wrist. 

   "I'm not meaning to..." Keith murmurs, grasping at the multiple solutions he had tried to think of before venturing to the kitchen. He wasn't ready for this, not yet, but he had to try. He just needed to try. He needs him to know. "Lance, I-"

   _"Paladins, wake up and get to the bridge immediately!"_

   Keith stops, mouth open and eyes wide as Allura's voice on the coms blares through his head, quickly followed by the alarms and the flash of red lights. Lance has a similar look, and Keith can't stop the disbelieving laugh that leaves his mouth. _Are you fucking kidding?_

Lance fixes Keith with a look that he can't decipher before he stands and motions for Keith to follow him to the door. "Duty calls."

   As Allura talks through the helmet coms about the emergency rescue mission while the Paladin's get suited up, Keith can't help but muse over how his wrist feels cold now. 

 

            ---

 

   "Come on, come on, just open!"

   Keith almost kicks the door, begging the smoking contraption on the side to finally short out and allow the doors that cut of a cell from the rest of the transport ship to open. They need to open, because the ticking behind him isn't getting any slower. 

   The mission was a trap. Allura had the Castle linked up to track Galra prisoner movement by the ship, an see which ones just made it into a quieter area of space where they could trap it themselves and free the people on board. That had been the plan: Pidge to get Keith and Lance inside through Green's cloaking to find where the prisoners were kept, Hunk and Shiro blasting the guards quarters and most of the engine rooms apart to stop the ship from hyper-driving away. Allura would stay in the bridge of the Castle, and even though she wasn't happy about it, she gave protection where she could as Coran kept up some form of attack on the automated battle bots. it was good, and there were multiple plans they could fall back on if need be. Except, the most vital part of this plan wasn't working. 

   The ship hadn't even had prisoners on it. There were only cylindric tubes of some alien matter that showed up on their scanners as legitimate biorhythms. Keith had looked between his scanner and the tubes multiple times before yelling to Lance to quickly check the rest of the cells. All of them only had tubes. They knew then that this was a setup, and Keith had just been ready to walk out of the cell and towards Lance's wide blue eyes when the door had slid shut right between them. Seconds later, the box that Keith assumed was an internal lock started smoking. And just to make matters worse, the smallest tube of coiling yellow fluid beeped one long sound, and then started a continuous beep that spread ice over Keith's bones. 

   "Fuck, come on!" Keith can hear Lance yelling outside, yelling into his coms, yelling at Keith, yelling for Keith. Keith grits his teeth, the dark purple of the door not stopping him from drawing his sword and prying it between the seam. He gasps as he pushes it deeper, the constant beeping behind him spurring him on. Adrenaline surges and he hopes that the blood in his head will stay there for just a second longer-

   The door squeals, and it jerks open. 

   Keith gasps as the beeping stops behind him and suddenly all he can see is blue as he dives forward, tackling Lance and rolling them to the side as heat rushes over his back. 

   More heat. 

   Something explodes.  

   Lance's helmet is cold against his cheek. 

   The floor underneath his shoulder shakes. 

   He can't feel his legs and his hands are shaking. 

   Finally, when the last something clatters to the floor, Keith pulls away and allows Lance's head up from where he had it pressed under his chin. 

   If Keith couldn't breathe before, well, you might as well call him dead now because Lance is rolling him onto his back, pounding on his chest without much force behind it, yelling at him even though Keith can't hear it through the ringing in his ears-

   "-Stupid! Don't fucking scare me like that again, you hear?! Fuck, _cariño_ , never again!"

   Keith just lays there, watching as the ceiling burns somewhere behind Lance's head and how Lance's eyes are suspiciously wet. Keith reaches up, and Lance latches onto his hand as he presses it under his helmet and to his cheek. Forcing his body to sit up, Keith knocks his helmet against Lance's. 

   "Sorry."

   Lance twists his lip in a way that Keith can tell is a total front. "You fucking better be. Let's go, I don't want to be on this ship of bombs for a second longer than I have to be. Pidge?"

   _"I'm here. What's the fuck is going on?"_

   Lance helps Keith to his feet, arms looped around each other for support. Keith's ears are still ringing as they stumble around a burning patch of yellow liquid. "Long story short? Mission turned trap. Ship's full of bombs that show up as living things. We need to leave now, where are you gonna be?

   Pidge blows out a breath as Keith pulls Lance into a hallway, both of them grimacing as another cylinder starts beeping in one of the closed cells. _"I can meet you near the docking bridge. If all of those bombs are rigged to blow soon, I don't want to be near the engines. Can you get there in one piece?"_

   Lance chuckles breathlessly as a burning chunk of the ceiling comes loose. Shiro and Hunk really did a number on the ship, so the power lines going through it must be sparking now, and the yellow gunk that's spread over almost every corner of the walls seems to be very flammable. This thing is coming down fast. "Ye of little faith, Pidgey. See you on the other side."

   _"You fucking better."_

   Lance chuckles again, and Keith can hear the fondness in his voice. They go to turn a corner, and are met with a wall of fire. 

   "Shit, other way!" Keith staggers back and pulls Lance with him; they're doing some weird run-walk thing now, like a three legged race with deadly consequences if they lose. Lance is breathing into Keith's ear, and Keith still can't breathe properly. His ribs really hurt. 

   He can barely hear their feet on the metal floors over the sound of his own heart as they run into yet again another fire wall. Luckily, this one is inside of a cell, so Lance slams his hand on the door lock when he gets close enough, stopping so that it doesn't spread. When Keith gives him a look, Lance says, "So if we need to run back we aren't surrounded." Keith just nods, and starts to pull Lance along when he hears that beeping again. This time, it doesn't last as long until it switches to solid again. 

   Keith yanks Lance behind him, turning away from the fire wall just as the doors start to close, steady but not fast enough as the bomb goes off and the floor shakes again and something huge slams into Keith from behind and sticks to his armour and his head is ringing and fuck, his _ribs-_

   Keith gasps, something numb spreading up the middle of his back and out towards his right arm. He can't hold back the whimper as he slouches forward into Lance's arms, hating the way that Lance's voice shakes when he says his name. Keith groans, and tries to push himself up with his arms but when he moves his right one he can't. Instead, he  screams, something short and harsh that must be right in Lance's ear. Lance says something else, but all Keith can think about is the pain, pain, pain in his back, in his right side, in his shoulder, in his head, in his heart when Lance begs for him to be okay. 

   "Fuck, Pidge, come in!" 

   Keith makes another rough sound as he slumps even farther forward, not knowing why his legs aren't working and why can't he move his arm-

   "Keith? Keith, Keith, can you hear me? Come on, _cariño_ , come on, we gotta keep moving." Keith feels arms under his armpits and then force as he's pulled up and another whimper slips from his mouth as his shoulder is jarred. It hurts. It really hurts, and all he wants to do is lie down, why doesn't Lance understand that?

   Lance's hand slips across his back, right where his armour doesn't cover, and that _really_ hurts and Keith doesn't know why until Lance reaches around Keith to grab the edge of his armour and it leaves behind a red stain that's too dark for his armour. Oh. _Oh._  

   Keith tries to work with Lance, tries to stand, but he can't feel his toes. Even with the flames that slowly lick at the pieces of shrapnel on the floor, he can't feel his toes, can't make them work, and Lance lets him slide back to the floor, narrowly avoiding a puddle of yellow. Keith yelps as a dagger of pain races through his back, and Lance falls to his knees in front of Keith, trying to pull him forwards against his chest. Keith goes, half willingly and half because he doesn't have the strength to resist. He feels stupidly weak, and he doesn't know why, so he tries to paw at Lance's shoulder, get his attention-

   "Lance, L-Lance...-?"

   "Just-Just stay quiet, Keith, okay? It'll be okay, you'll be okay, you have to be!" Lance won't meet his eyes, and Keith tries to get his attention again but Lance rips his gloves and his forearm armour off and grabs Keith's knife from his belt and slices a chunk of his flight suit off. Keith gapes at him as Lance yanks his forward again, and this time Keith knows what's wrong when Lance wraps the black material around him in a standard field dressing of an impalement wound. Under the arm, around the piece of something that is stuck in his ribcage, and back to the front again to tie it. Keith gasps in pain as Lance tightens it, unable to hold back a whine. 

   "L-Lance, stop-stop it hur-"

   Lance's shoulders shake, and black spots dance in his vision. No, no, no! "I know, buddy, I know, but you gotta hang on. Pidge is coming, so you need to stay with me, please..."

   Lance looks up and meets Keith's gaze. Keith can now barely feel the lick of the flames beside him for all of the warmth in his chest. Lance has his hand in his own bare one, and Keith wishes that he could feel his bare skin against his own just one last time, so he grunts and tries to raise his hand to his mouth. He momentarily forgets which shoulder he fucked, though, so he tries to raise the messed one at first until he realizes his mistake with a muffled grunt. 

   Lance protests, tries to hold his hand down, but Keith waves him off with his good arm and bites down on the fingers before tugging. Beeping echoes down the hallway somewhere, and the corridor shakes as it explodes. Keith doesn't dare flinch, lest he break the eye contact between him and the Blue Paladin. It's already so mottled with dark spots, but he just need to feel him. 

   Gasping with exertion and pain as the thing in his ribs makes itself known now that he's so close to unconsciousness, Keith pushes himself up far enough to let his bare palm slide against Lance's cheek and let his thumb slide under a cut on Lance's cheek and Lance breaks, holding his wrist closer and pressing his helmet to Keith's. 

   "Lance..." Keith whispers, numb except for the warmth against his palm and the tickle of Lance's rapid breaths on his lips. One last time. Just one last time to feel that ache in his chest. "Lance... I..."

   "Keith, don't you dare," Lance says harshly, rocking them in place, "Don't you _fucking_ dare, not here, not now."

   Chuckling, Keith swipes his thumb across a fresh tear trail. Every time, an interruption. All he wants is to let Lance know. The floor shakes. Keith just stares as Lance's blue eyes stare angrily back at him, and Keith can barely keep his own open. He knows Lance is still talking to him, and he just wants to say one thing, but-

   Something beeps above them, and Keith summons every last bit of his strength to lunge forward off the wall and cover Lance with his body. By some twist of fate, his face ends up tucked right beside Lance's helmet. 

   As the ceiling opens up above him, Keith whispers into the blue metal, "I'm so sorry."

 

            ---

 

   When beeping is the first thing that Keith hears when opens his eyes, you can't blame him for reacting the way he did. Shiro, however, did not appreciate the sucker punch to the gut and graciously dropped Keith to the floor in revenge. 

   "Jesus, little brother, what a welcome." Keith stays on the floor, chilled and exhausted from... the healing pod? Why was he in there? 

   He looks to Shiro, confusion laid out on his face and underneath it, a vulnerable shred of fear. "Shiro...?"

   Immediately, Keith is enveloped in a hug so fierce he has to blink back the tears in his eyes before he can return it. Even in the dark of the healing pod room, Keith can see various blankets strewn across the floor and multiple bowls on the tables. Shiro's shoulder shakes against him-

   "Shiro? W-What happened?" Shiro pulls back long enough to glare at Keith with a look of desperation that Keith hasn't seen for a long time. Maybe the last time was on Earth, when Keith went off his antidepressants and it ended with Shiro coaxing his down from the roof of the Garrison. 

   "Never, and I mean _never_ , pull that shit ever again, do you hear me, Keith?" 

   Keith gapes, caught between Shiro swearing and the break of his brothers voice when he speaks, no, _swears_ Keith into promising. "I won't. I promise. But, what exactly did I do...?"

   Shiro stops, and closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath. Keith watches him, the weight of his prosthetic comforting on his shoulder before Shiro uses it to smack Keith in the back of the head. "Hey!"

   "You almost died, that's what you did. You're only allowed one near-death experience per decade, Keith, I thought we went over this!" Shiro stands, and pulls Keith to his feet before setting both hands on his shoulders and smiling softly at him. Keith smiles back, knees still slightly achy and his head a thick mess. Shiro leads him over to a chair, and Keith takes a seat as the weight of Shiro's words set in. He almost died? What happened? 

   "The mission was a bust. We thought it was a prisoner ship, passing through the Vig'lo Sector, and we were going to free the ones on board. Turns out, it was a trap. There were containers of something that gave off a code that showed up on our sensors as biorhythms, but we couldn't tell until you and Lance were actually on the ship." At Keith's surprised glance, Shiro nods, "Yes, you and Lance. Pidge dropped you and was ready to get you at the other end, but when the first bomb went off, Lance told her to find you guys sooner, which proved to be difficult with the numerous fake biorhythms surrounding you. She had to find you by your suits, and couldn't pick you up anywhere near the engines. it was a mess, to say the least. 

   "Then, something happened. Another bomb when off, and you got hurt protecting Lance. A chunk of metal hit you in the back, dislocating your shoulder, giving you a concussion, and it-it impaled you in the ribs, breaking them further. Coran thinks they were already broken in the first explosion, where you threw yourself in front of Lance again. You really have a death wish, don't you? Anyways, with you gravely hurt and unable to help, Lance patched you up the best he could and waited for Pidge. He said that when she tried to claw a hole in the side, she set a bomb off to which Lance said that you fucking _rolled on top of him_." Shiro expresses his disbelief by standing up and pacing a pattern that seems ingrained in his muscle memory. Keith wonders how long he was out for. "When they finally got you into Green, you were unconscious and covered in that biorhythm gunk, so good for you because now we have a sample. And you're still alive, which according to Coran, was a miracle in itself."

   Keith looks up to see Shiro staring somewhere over his shoulder. His voice goes soft, and Keith strains to hear it. "That piece of metal was centimeters from your lung, Keith, and even closer to a major artery. One wrong move, and you could have died. We could have lost you. I could have-"

   Shiro cuts himself off, and Keith stands. He walks over to his brother, and wraps him in the biggest hug he could muster. Shiro shudders and ducks his head down onto Keith's shoulder. Keith rubs his back, tears stinging at his eyes for reasons unknown. Slowly, little pieces of the mission come back into place the longer he stays awake. Especially near the end. Definitely the end. "I'm sorry, Shiro. I'll be more careful next time, I promise."

   Laughing wetly, Shiro squeezes Keith back. "I'm not the only one you should be saying that too. The rest of the team isn't here right now only because we all agreed to take shifts watching you so that you wouldn't get overwhelmed when you woke up. it's up tp you if you want to face them now, or one by one. I have a feeling who you're gonna start with though, whatever your choice may be." Shiro pins Keith with a knowing look, and Keith chuckles despite himself. 

   "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go see him." They break apart, and Shiro rubs Keith's back one more time before announcing that he's going to bed because 'taking care of children is _tiring_ , man'. Keith just snorts, and grabs the one glove he sees on a table nearby before making his way out into the hallways. 

   He realizes halfway through his journey that he's not wearing any shoes, and quickly changes directions to go to his own room to grab the red pair of slippers that Lance used to hound him for not wearing. He also plans on grabbing a new shirt, because he really doesn't want to meet Lance wearing the same shirt he almost died in. That would be bad. 

   Keith's door slides open, and he doesn't bother turning on the lights as he strips his top off. Keith turns towards his bed with a forlorn glance, but quickly looks away because he needs to see Lance before he passes out. keith goes to turn back to his closet but hold the fucking phone because his bed is not that lumpy. Keith whips around, and yes, there laying in the spot where Keith sleeps is Lance, knees pulled up to his chin and eyes shut but not relaxed. Lance's slippers sit on the floor, and his jacket is hooked on the wall where Keith's normally is, so where is Keith's jacket?

   The answer is in Lance's arms, crumpled and balled up and Lance shifts in his sleep. Keith's heart crashes in his chest and he doesn't bother looking for a shirt before he walks towards the bed and crouches down, elbows beside Lance's arms. Keith watches him for a second, watches his eyelashes flutter and watches as a tear slips down Lance's cheekbone before he mutters a soft, "Keith…" And Keith's heart melts all over again. 

   Keith shifts closer, worming his hand under Lance's cheek and brushing away the tear. "Hey, Lance, wake up..." 

   It doesn't take more than a second before Lance's eyes open slowly, blinking away what ever tears there are left. His head rises from the pillow a little as he tries to place the face in front of him. "...Keith...?"

   Keith smiles softly. "Hey, man."

   Lance doesn't say anything for a second, and then Keith is experiencing _de ja vu_ as he's dragged up into the bed and suddenly he has an armful of Lance, pressing into his chest and wrapping his arms around him and Keith can't breathe bit this time it's way better. Keith laughs when Lance tries to speak, but only a mess of letters and sounds come out and Lance just settles for glaring at him and squishing both of Keith's cheeks with his hands. 

   "You absolute, utter, completely, absolutely beautiful idiot!" Lance pushes himself up by using Keith's face as an anchor, which ow, but Keith can't bring himself to care as he looks at Lance, who seems completely content to keep sitting on Keith's abdomen, squeezing his cheeks together with warm hands. Lance's gaze travels all over Keith's face, as though making sure he's alright even though Keith just stumbled out of the pods not even an hour ago. Without really meaning to, Keith reaches up and cups Lance's cheek with his hand. Lance looks at him, eyes going wide, before grabbing onto Keith's wrist with a tight grip. This is familiar. 

   "You had a cut here," Keith says softly as he brushes his thumb over Lance's cheekbone, "Were you in the pods too?"

   Lance nods against his hand, but he keeps Keith from pulling it away and almost nuzzles into it deeper. "In the last explosion, a piece of metal fell down and hit me in the helmet. Shiro wanted to make sure I didn't have a concussion, so he stuck me in there beside you. I got out two days ago."

   Two days? As far as Keith knows, concussions take about a day and a bit to heal, so that means that he was out for three days, if not more. Huh. 

   Lance interrupts his thought process with a scowl. "But why are you worrying about me, Mister I-Got-Impaled-But-I'm-Still-Gonna-Be-A-Self-Sacrificing-Asshole? You dick, you told me you weren't gonna do that again, and what did you do? Twice after that?!" Keith makes a drawn out protesting sound when Lance pinches his cheeks, finally letting go of his wrist to do so. He plays around with Keith's face for a bit, pouting and scowling, but soon it fades into a sincere expression that has Keith sitting up underneath him. 

   Cupping his tan face, Keith leans in and presses his forehead to Lance's. Honestly, he can't believe that Lance hasn't left yet. "I'm okay, Lance. And I'm sorry for scaring you, but I'm not going to apologize for trying to keep you safe. And..." Keith inhales slowly, closing his eyes to avoid Lance's expression. "I'm sorry for everything before. When I left you. I'm so sorry..."

   Lance is barely breathing. Keith can feel the shallow breaths against his chest, they're so close, and he can also feel the rapid flutter of Lance's heart. It matches his own to a T. "Do you regret it?"

   Keith huffs out a laugh. "Never. No, I could never regret it. I wanted you- I want you so bad, Lance, and I'm so sorry for what happened, and I know that you might not want it again or it was something to get out of your system, but-"

   Keith stops as Lance sniffs and shakes his head, foreheads rubbing. Keith's breath hitches as Lance wraps his arms around Keith, and Keith loops one arm around Lance's thin waist, one hand splayed across his lower back. _No going back now, Keith._

   "I still want you, Lance, and I want more. I want to be with you when we have free time, I want to see you smile when alien children flood you. I want to hold your hand without dying, and I want to help you when you're hurting. I want to be the one you go to when you need someone, and I want to be that person in your life." Keith sucks in a breath, and he risks a look at Lance and suddenly that air is gone when he sees silent tears running down Lance's cheeks. Keith raises one hand to gently wipe them away, and Lance hiccups. Keith leans in closer, less than an inch of space between them. "I want you here, in my bed and sleeping with my jacket because I did something stupid again. I want you with me, Lance, and I don't know what else to do because whenever I saw you, it hurt. It hurt so bad. And I'm so sorry for leaving you like I did. I was terrified of what it could mean, and I ran away, and I hurt you. And never wanted to do that to you. I..."

   Keith tilts Lance's face towards him, but doesn't move any closer. "I want you, but it's okay if you don't want me. I'll understand, and you can still stay here for the night and we can work it out in the morning." Keith wants to say more, but suddenly he feels as though he's said all that he could. He was kind of running on before, saying whatever came to mind. And now he's lost, and that ache is back and better than ever. 

   It doesn't last long when Lance inhales sharply, tugs Keith in closer by the back of his head, and seals their lips together. 

   Keith almost forgets to kiss back, he's so relieved. Only when Lance threads his fingers into his hair deeper and tugs again does Keith remember that oh fuck, he's kissing Lance and he reaches up to cup Lance's face with his palms, holding him closer as he gasps in a desperate breath. 

   Lance makes a soft sound, and he slowly pushes Keith back until Keith can feel the pillow under his head. Lance slips his hands down to Keith's bare chest, and Keith brings one of his own hands around Lance, and pulls Lance right against him. Lance breaks away for air, but immediately dives back in when Keith tangles their legs and rolls them over, Lance giggling breathlessly when Keith grunts. 

   "Shut up," Keith laughs into Lance's mouth, and they're back to kissing again. Keith's eyes slip closed, and Lance gently prods his tongue and Keith allows him entry. Keith makes a higher pitched sound, and they break away again, Keith's arms looped around Lance's waist and Lance's hands tickling Keith's abdomen. Silently, Lance trials his hand upwards and places it over Keith's ribs. Keith stops, and brushes a kiss over Lance's forehead. "I'm okay, Lance. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

   Lance nods, serious for a second before cracking a grin. "Guess I'll never get rid of you now, hey?"

   Snorting, Keith shakes his head and captures Lance in another kiss, not as deep as the other one but just as fiery. Lance rolls him back over, but this time, he keeps himself pressed as one line against Keith. Keith smiles against his lips and hooks his lower leg around Lance's. Then, movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. 

   "Hey! Is that my glove?"

   The mice on Lance's dresser stop, halfway across the metal from where they had been trying to sneak off with the glove. Lance looks over his shoulder and when he faces Keith again, he looks sheepish. 

   "Maybe?" Keith eyes him until he breaks. "Okay, so maybe it's been in my room for the past while and the mice have been trying to use it as a bribe for me to talk to you again and Hunk and Allura both said that I should talk to you but make you apologize first so I was gonna give it back to you when I saw you out of the pod and maybe kiss you and tell you that I love you-mph!"

   Keith flops over Lance - again - and cuts him off with the deepest kiss yet. Lance moans, and Keith pants into his lovers mouth when they finally break with a lingering touch. Keith's chest hurts. But it's good. Because he's here and he's with Lance, and it's good. 

   "I love you, too." Keith buries his face into the crook of Lance's neck, sudden exhaustion hitting him as soon as that weight was lifted off his chest. Lance feels the same. Everything feels normal; he's warm, his man is in his bed to stay, and... "Also, I'm tired as fuck. Goodnight."

   Lance barks out a laugh, and tugs Keith over to the side so they can cuddle comfortably. Keith closes his eyes just as lance presses a soft kiss to his forehead. "Goodnight, Keith. I'll be here in the morning."

   ...And that _fucking ache_ , but damn it, it's so good. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow guys. what a ride. 
> 
>  
> 
> i think this will be the last part in this series, so i hope that you've enjoyed it because i know i have:)
> 
> drop a comment, let me know what your thoughts are !! i love hearing from you guys, even if i sometimes forget to respond.... oops
> 
> anyways, see ya kids next time :)


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